Happy New Year, everyone.
Though I’m as unqualified as the next person to make predictions for the next year, I’m going to do it anyway. Here are my predictions for 2012:
In 2012, An Editor Will Read My Novel
I mean, come on, it’s out on submission. Surely someone’s going to read it before the end of the year, right?
In 2012, There Will Be A Lunar Eclipse
Yeah, and I even know the dates. Next topic.
In 2012, The World Will Not End
Hey, this is easy! I could make predictions like this all day long.
In 2012, I Will Stop Asking My Agent Inane Questions
Even though I ask stupid questions (Should I insure my touch-typee fingers? Who’s Neil Gaiman? What kind of tree would you be?), my agent dispels my clumsy ignorance with a graciousness and professionalism I feel I don’t I deserve. I owe her my eternal gratitude for putting up with me. So if my agent is reading this, I have just one thing to say: Did I spell ‘touch-typee’ correctly?
In 2012, I’m Going To Spill Something
It happens every year. I hope this year, it’s something like a bag of Doritos instead of a gallon of milk.
In 2012, I’m Going To Finish My Second Novel
It’s not a goal unless you write it down, right? Well, now it’s a goal. Let’s call it a target. Something to shoot for. Plan A, if you will. A dream. Something to think about.
Of course, making predictions is easy. Making accurate predictions is another matter. To be fair, let’s see how I did with last year’s predictions:
In 2011, The World Will Not End
Sure, there are still a few hours left in the year (local time), but I think I’m pretty safe in saying this one was spot-on.
In 2011, I’m Going To Spill Something
Nailed it. I went to Lowe’s in Rome to get a couple of five-gallon buckets of paint (What? It could happen.) and, well, there was this ladder… You know what? I don’t want to talk about it. In my defense, has anybody ever heard of the floor of the Sistine Chapel being so famous? Anybody?
In 2011, I Will Win The IEEE Exploding Galaxy Cluster Award For Best Premise For A Debut Science Fiction Novel
In retrospect, I suppose it was silly of me to think that an electrical engineering standards body would invent a new award for unpublished works of fiction. Also, it turns out that galaxy clusters don’t actually explode.
In 2011, An Agent Will Offer To Represent My Novel, And I Will Not Ask Her Inane Questions
I get partial credit, right?
In 2011, I Will Make A Blog Post That Contains The Word “Eldritch”
Alas, I fell short on this one. Nothing I posted this past year ever required the distinctive–
Wait… What time is it?