Predictions for 2013

Happy New Year, everyone. I’m as unqualified to make predictions as the next guy, but I’ve decided to have a go anyway. Here are my predictions for the new year:

In 2013, An Editor Will Read My Novel

Yes, I’m still on submission. The pins and needles are beginning to dull after so much waiting. Good thing I have a bed to be depressed in.

In 2013, I Will Win the Nobel Prize in Physics

I figured out the formula for winning (see my previous post), and added rainbows and unicorns for good measure. How can I lose?

In 2013, A Heretofore Unknown Asteroid Will Pass Within Geosynchronous Orbit

Yeah, I’m going out on a limb on this one. Still, this happens more often than most people think. Sure, it’s not as likely as me winning a Nobel Prize, but it’s a bet I’m willing to take.

In 2013, Climate Change Deniers Will NOT Change Their Minds Even After Bursting Into Flames

Speaking of safe bets…

In 2013, I Will Win the Nobel Prize in Literature

I do have a book on submission, so it’s safe to say I’m in the running. Or at least that I will be in the running once an editor reads it. And wants it.

Of course, making predictions is easy. Making accurate predictions is another matter. To be fair, let’s see how I did with last year’s predictions:

In 2012, I Will Get A New Bed To Be Depressed In While I Wait For An Editor To Read My Novel

Nailed it. Well, technically speaking, the bed isn’t actually new. But I did change the sheets last year.

In 2012, A Single Asteroid Will Knock Out All Our Communications Satellites Like Dominoes

My television reception in September was a bit spotty, so I’m calling this prediction a winner. That’s the way science works, right?

In 2012, I Will Overdose On Nacho Cheese-Flavored Doritos

It didn’t happen, but not for lack of trying. Maybe I’ll have better luck this year.

In 2012, I Will Open A Coffee Shop

Nailed it. Hey, maybe I should blog about that? Do you think?

The Best It Can Be

Have you ever written something – a scene, a poem, or even a line of dialog – and marveled at how wonderful it is?

Yeah, me neither. I’m never really satisfied with my writing. I’ve told my agent my novel is done, but, really, if I were to read through it a hundred more times, I’d make changes every single time.

Is that the way it’s supposed to be? Is that what writers mean when they say a novel is abandoned rather than finished?

Just once, I’d like to write something that’s the best it can be, never begging for edit or revision.

Hey, you know what? I’m going to try it right here. Just one line. Surely I can do that, right? The next line I type will be perfect, requiring no edits or revisions. I swear on my honor not to revise whatever comes out, proving I can write something — even if it’s just a single line — that’s the best it can be in first draft. Here we go: Okay, wait, I’m still psyching myself up… And here we go:

Oyrsyut if oerfectuib us fytuke,

Cripes! Of all the times for my fingers not to find the home row!

And I Thought I Was Done

A query and a synopsis? Says who?

Okay, I didn’t just discover that agents require a query letter and often a synopsis. I’ve known it for quite a while now – since long before beginning my first draft. It didn’t sound that daunting at the time, but I’m shocked at what I’ve learned. Now that I’ve gone through the querying process, I maintain that writing a query and synopsis is more difficult than writing a novel.

Seriously. Don’t underestimate this task, and be prepared to spend weeks or even months to get this just right. The query is the agent’s first glimpse into your writing, so making it the best it can possibly be is worth the effort.

Adventures in Writing

I’ve decided to try my hand at writing science fiction. Stick around, and I’ll share my writing adventures.

If you read science fiction and have a preference for the harder stuff, then I think you’re going to like it here.

Let the adventures begin.