I try to keep up with advances in quantum physics, but I’m ashamed to admit that, until today, I had never studied Delbrück scattering, which occurs when quantum pairs spontaneously appear in a region dominated by a magnetic field. I’m intrigued that Delbrück scattering is similar to Hawking radiation, but instead of quantum pairs appearing near a black hole, it’s quantum pairs appearing near a magnet.
I get it. To become a famous physicist, all one has to do is think of some disruptive environment for quantum pairs to appear in, and imagine (no more than that, really) what the results would be.
What the heck, I’ll have a go. For my next Nobel Prize in physics, I will ponder the consequences of quantum pairs spontaneously appearing near the following items:
- A vacuum sweeper.
- A blender.
- Fly paper.
- A SPINNING thing, like a tire, or maybe another blender.
- Rainbows. (Yeah, that’s a difficult one, but why not?)
- Unicorns. (I’ll invoke the unfalsifiable “You-Can’t-Prove-Me-Wrong” argument.)
- A time vortex. (It could happen.)
- That chubby man on the Internet who believes he’s magnetic because pennies stick to his skin, but he really just needs to take a bath.
I’ll alert the Nobel Prize Committee that my work is underway. And I’ll get a good 8×10 head shot. I’ll need a good 8×10 head shot, don’t you think? I really should do that first.
OOH! I just thought of something new: Rainbows AND unicorns… TOGETHER!
Yep, I’d say this one’s in the bag.